Week 1 - What the Hell Is This?

And so it begins. The C club has a new member. Like most of us, I’ve been surrounded by other members, many still with us, others who have passed. I’ve seen the disease in its different types stealthily take down some of the strongest persons I know, reflecting now on their circumstances to inspire courage. Can’t say that I never thought this would happen to me, just didn’t know if or when or what kind I might get. I always thought if I did get it, it would surely be some form of skin cancer, given my early working days more than 30 years ago building houses and installing roofs in south Florida, sunscreen be damned.

In my case though, there is a very short back story.

Patriots’ Day weekend 2019 I began feeling neck pain which was also flaring into a headache that wrapped around the left side of my neck and head, ending behind my left eye. After several attempts at massaging my neck for relief, I noticed a swollen gland on the left side of my throat. Not one to typically seek medical intervention, this time I felt something was definitely wrong. I called my primary care practice and spoke with the on-call (there, I almost said it…nope wait for it, several days to come) nurse practitioner. He assessed my condition and determined with no other symptoms present, I should wait until my dentist appointment Tuesday morning to see if this might be teeth related. (He also called me back about 30 minutes later to inquire about Cat Scratch Fever, the malady not the song.)

My wife suggested I try a "warm compost" for relief.
I said, "Warm 'compost'? Are you sure you're a nurse?" Turns out she's not. She's a librarian, and a damned good one at that. She is so good that I asked her permission to share that exchange. Tread very carefully with your caretaker in times like these...

Tuesday, April 16, 2019

The dentist visit indicated no issues relating to my teeth so I made an appointment to see the primary care physician that afternoon. Ah yes, the afternoon of April 16^th, like my birthday, a date that will live in infamy.

My primary care doctor was unavailable so I saw another physician at 3pm. When he felt the swollen gland his reaction was, “Whoa, that’s a whole lot of lymph node right there.” And the whirling dervish of health care began. He ordered 5 vials of blood drawn for testing, a chest x-ray, told his assistant to get me in to see an Ear, Nose Throat specialist ASAP, and to schedule an urgent CT Scan. Don’t have to hit me over the head, I know it’s game on now and things don’t look good.

The lab in the office was closed but his assistant was permitted to open it and perform the blood draw. After completing, she had me sit with a scheduling agent who was on hold with Salem Hospital.

The agent gave a few “uh-huh’s” and then hung up the phone, looked at the clock, turned to me and said, “You’re scheduled for a 5:30 CT Scan in Salem, better leave now.”

I responded, “What about the X-ray?”

After another look at the clock, “Yeah, you probably can get that done down the hall before you leave.”

After the X-ray I drove 35 minutes to Salem Hospital and walked into the Imaging Department around 5:15, received a contrast dye CT scan and returned home around 7:30.

Wednesday April 17, 2019

8AM: Phone call from the nurse at the primary care office asking if I could come back in to give another vial of blood. She “needed one more than I took yesterday. Come in at your convenience.”

I headed out about 9am for the 15 minute drive. About 30 seconds away from the office another call, this time my primary care doctor.

“I have the results of the CT scan from last night. I’m not going to sugar coat it, this is not good. You have a couple of different things going on, a swollen lymph node, something going on with your left tonsil, and nodules on your thyroid. The ENT you see tomorrow will be able to provide more info but this is very concerning.”

“Well if you’re not going to beat around the bush, are we talking throat cancer?”

“Maybe. Sorry, I’m really sorry.”

And there it was. I said it before he did. The first non-definitive punch to the gut. The first piece of information that starts your mind thinking the worst but hoping for the best. The Emotional Derby is about to begin, “And they’re off!”

I continued on to the office to give that extra vial of blood. Upon sitting down in the lab, and after giving my name, the attendant said, “Oh, you were the last one in here last night. I found a vial of you blood left on the counter this morning.”

“Oh, so you don’t need to take any more then?” I asked.

“It sat out all night, it’s no good for testing. I told the nurse this morning and she insisted she didn’t leave it out but I showed it to her. She was mortified.”

OK, so when I got the call in the morning about “needing another vial” she wasn’t being completely honest about why. Just sayin’.

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Consult with ENT. Still nothing definitive as of yet so HOPE is very much in the lead. After exchanging pleasantries, doctor begins a thorough oral exam including placing a camera into the nasal cavity to look “behind” my tonsils, into my esophagus (I presume). He does not see any indication of trouble anywhere, including the tonsil, except for the swollen lymph node. Next step is a Fine Needle Aspiration (FNA) of the node to send out the fluid for biopsy. As he withdraws the fluid he notes that it is yellow which to him initially indicates pus. More likely this is an infection, and he is “not overly concerned about this.” HOPE, with the whip, dashes further in front and is surging several lengths ahead of the field.

After completing the FNA, the doctor opens the door and asks his nursing team, “How do I send fluids out to the lab?” Ruhroh. Maybe Dr. Howard or Dr. Fine can help him with that. Suddenly the comfy feeling that this will all be over with "take 1 every 12 hours with food" is waning. Here comes DOUBT creeping up on the inside rail. He doesn’t know how to get my samples to the lab? WHAT? The nurses put him at ease and said they handle that part so no worries needed.

When he returned he asked if there was anything else to discuss. I inquired about taking antibiotics in case it was an infection since I’ve now been walking around with this lump for about a week. He agreed and I began taking a general antibiotic while we awaited the results of the fluid biopsy.

Friday April 19 – Sunday April 21, 2019

Uneventful weekend except for one thing: although the lump did not seem to be impacted by the antibiotic, the neck pain and headaches stopped. Looking back this may have been due to less stress with HOPE still significantly out in front of the pack.

Week 2: Shit Just Got Real

Week 3: Holy Phuc